Actions speak louder than words so it kinda sucks knowing no one gives two shits about me. But this is going on for 18 years so I’m used to it. I just know things have gotten bad when I start to think about cutting myself. I never do it though. I never have done it. I don’t know why. Something always holds me back. What scares me is thinking that there might come a day when I won’t hold back. I’ll do it. And I’ll feel nothing. No pain. Because the emotional pain I have been experiencing for the last few months is 1000x worse than any physical pain.